"The Best Cosole..."

Picture the scene if you can (and I'd imagine you can, it's not a particularly difficult scene to picture). A family gathering, it's for a birthday, or other event that society dictates you should sit in a room with some family members for, the details are quite unimportant.

So there I was, quite content, I had had a few beers, the collective assortment of family members of varying levels of relation were assembled, and had also had a few each, the idle chat was flowing, the TV was banging out Katy Perry hit after Ke$ha hit, after Jedward...well, you get the drift.

All of a sudden, someone broke it out...the Nintendo Wii! Ok, I thought, that's fine...none of them are gamers, they are quite happy with playing this simplistic console and it's crowd pleasing mini games collections. They aren't into shooting various bad guys with a varying assortment of weapons, dragging Nathan Drake across a stunning virtual world, or discovering the streets of Liberty City and beating te shit out of a hooker or 9...no, they'd rather skillesly (is that a word?) bowl or play tennis...each to their own...

Anyway, half an hour or so later, people had become (predictably) fed up of bowling quite a while ago, and had moved on to something I believe was called "Got 2 Dance!" I hadn't heard of it. However, it seemed to involve mimicking what the on screen character was doing, in time to some of the pop hits the TV had been thumping out before all the Nintendo fun began. Despite the numerous attempts to get me to join in failing miserably, I quite enjoyed watching them all make a considerable arse of themselves, running around the room (when anyone with a bit of tech savvy could have seen that all you needed to do was imitate the right hand movements to get a perfect score) and banging into each other as the dancing intensified and the alcohol continued to flow...then the fun stopped.

One of the collective family members came and sat next to me, obviously exhausted from their running around a coffee table, shouting about "tik Toking" or something and trying to hold a glass of wine, all simultaneously. Turning to me, the question posed was, "You play games don't you?" followed by "Do you have a Wii..." Not wanting to rain on the parade of those destined for Britain's Got Talent, I merely replied "no..." "But why?" I found myself questioned..."It's got to be the best console on the market!"

To say I ranted was, without doubt, the understatement of the year. To say it fell on deaf ears follows the previous statement closely into second place....a gallant runner up you might say. But what is it that winds us gamers up so much about the popularity of the Wii?? I had to think about that.

1. The thing is technologically so far behind the other two big consoles. The 360 and the PS3 both have graphics, sounds and gameplay capabilities far far above anything that the Wii could ever apire to. Just look at Dead Space 2, Uncharted 2, Fallout 3 etc, and answer me this...what does the Wii have to combat this? Nothing...
In fact, since the other two released their own movement technology, the Wii now even lacks a USP...yet people still flock to buy it, unbelievable. (The PS Move is what I would call the more talented, more solid and reliable big brother of the Wiimote....it's going to an Ivy League School and it ants to be a pretty good lawyer, whilst the Xbox Kinect is like the gay, flashy brother...it's going to stage school, it's going to show it's talents to the world, and it might just become a star).

2. Nintendo are lazy. Asides from the above, bringing out wave after wave of mini games compilations is a cheap way to motivate sales. People are obviously going to be amazed by the fact that they can play darts, bowls or tennis without learning button combos etc, but no matter how often you move it between beach, gym hall and the fucking moon, it is still the same arm wavey non entity. Also, the mere release of Goldeneye Wii is just sad...as a former childhood player of Goldeneye on the N64 (I was a child of that generation), I find it appalling that they can repackage the same game, and release it as if it's a brand new title...no graphics upgrade, no change in the characters, no bringing it up to date with the current Bond films, nothing...it's the same N64 game!

3. People are being robbed of a chance to play the best games that have ever been on the market. Parents are the peole who buy us our first consoles. When I was like 4, we got a Sega Master System, later upgraded to the Mega Drive, so on and so on, before my first console which was my own...in 1996, the PS One. This gave me a chance to experience the best that was on offer of that time. We are talking Final Fantasy series, we are talking Metal Gear Solid, games that raised the bar, and allowed us to progress to Heavy Rain, more Final Fantasy and (the afforementioned, many times) Uncharted 2.
This generation's parents are not giving them that chance. By buying the Wii they are not allowing their kids to get to grips with true Next Gen gaming. Do we really want Wii Sports 2088 to be the biggest game on the market in 77 years time? Or do we want the latest groundbreaking technologies to be reaching ever closer to the stars?? I know what I would like to see.

I mean, the Wii isn't all bad. But you have to take it for what it is. It's a casual machine, for casual gamers. And yes, it is fun for casual gamers, and there's nothing wrong with that. I just wish that it didn't blinker everyone from seeing the true gaming experiences that are out there.

You have to give it to them though...Nintendo have two consoles, one has a game that calls you stupid and oldin the head, and the other has a game that calls you fat, lazy and stupid, oh, and you also have no balance, you pensioner bastard! And they still manage to market these as some of the biggest sellers in history. Kudos for that Nintendo...and touche!

Tomorrow's blog...the Hollywood effect...on Japan and it's culture.